The Privilege of Pressure

What is Pressure

Pressure is an inevitable part of this life, what is the variable: how we handle the pressure, and whether we see it as a hindrance or a privilege.

I read once that Billie Jean King was quoted as calling pressure a privilege. As a former No. 1 tennis player with 39 majors to her name, I think she would be well-versed in what pressure feels like.

Why then would she call it a privilege and how can we see the pressure we are under in the same way?

Photo by Michael Cole

Pressure can mount from many different sources.

We feel pressure to be good parents or to make sure that we are good providers. We feel the pressure of society at times to have a nicer car or a bigger house. We can even feel self-imposed pressure to do better at our job or make a difference in this world.

I wrote in, “Under Pressure”,

I am not defined by the trouble that befalls my journey but by the way in which I respond to the pressure.

In that article and from this quote I am trying to convey a sense that pressure is not the antagonist we have been conditioned to think it is.

Pressure is a mirror through which we see our reflection of ourselves for better or for worse.

I have a reputation for not always handling pressure well.

I can get worked up pretty quickly when the heat rises. I am not proud of this fact but I am aware of it and have learned over the years to harness pressure better and use it to form better responses. This has helped in every aspect of my life.

Pressure is a precursor of growth or significant change. As leaders, we must visualize pressure as a privilege and not a hindrance.

This has helped me understand that pressure is not something to be avoided instead it is something to lean into and make work for me, not against me. Think about a time in your life when you experienced a great change whether a new job or a new position — moving to a new house or maybe even your last “milestone” birthday.

Probably you felt an amount of pressure leading up to those life events. You felt the tension and maybe uneasiness at the prospect of learning something new or being in a new group.

Pressure is often times greater than the change required because of our anticipation of the event.

We can work ourselves into an amount of pressure that may not even be fully representative of the impending change.

Another thing that I have learned about pressure is that it is relative. Pressure for the things you do is relative and unique to the changes and battles you are facing.

Pressure is different for everyone.

Also, you handle pressure differently today than maybe you did 5 or 10 years ago.

Our perspective is always unique to our circumstances and what may seem like a ton of pressure to us at the moment may seem like nothing to someone else. Likewise, we can look at someone else’s life and scoff at what seems to break others. The fact is though, you have never been in their shoes. It is impossible to really put yourself in their position because so much has come before that you weren't there for.

I remember “controversy” last year and the millions of opinions that swirled around the planet in what seemed like just 24 hours when it was announced that Simone Biles was withdrawing from the Tokyo Olympics.

“Physically, I feel good. I’m in shape,” she told a journalist upon her exit “Emotionally, it varies on the time and moment. Coming to the Olympics and being a head star isn’t an easy feat.”

I read and heard firsthand people critique her decision at the moment and afterward. People in sports journalism and armchair critics alike mentioned how she shouldn’t have given up or quit on her teammates. Most of the commentary, of course, came from places and people who have never and will never be in a position of this type of pressure but they felt they were in a position to create a narrative around her decision all the same.

Simone Biles pulls out of team final citing mental stress © Loic Venance/AFP/Getty

Biles later said, “I was like, ‘I am not in the right headspace,’ I am not going to lose a medal for this country and these girls because they’ve worked way too hard to have me go out there and lose a medal.”

She knew what it had taken to get to this point and she knew what it would take to get to the next level. She realized that in herself something was just “not clicking” and that meant she had to make a decision.

Either keep going and risk injury, or loss of a chance at a medal or step out and allow the team to forge on ahead.

That is what leaders do.

Great leaders live in and even sometimes create the pressure necessary to achieve greatness and know when to turn up the heat and when to step out of the flames altogether. It is not about living without the pressure, none of us ever will, instead it is about each of us taking that pressure head-on and still being able to make the best decision possible despite the mounting pressure of opinions and critics.

It will always be easier to critique than create and so we will always have to contend with the armchair experts second-guessing our decisions. We can rest assured that as long as we are creating constructive pressure for ourselves we will continue to grow and can meet that pressure head-on. In times of high stress, we often allow pressure to build up with no proper release valve, and when things start to heat up our lid blows.

I want to encourage you to identify the areas in which there are pressures and stressors that are good and learn to operate within those areas. Learn ways to cope and release the pressure when needed. Allow others into the conversation when needed and listen to those you trust who may be able to see your scenario from a slightly different perspective.

Pressure will always be a part of life.

If you can learn to see pressure as a privilege and not an impediment you will be able to see all the obstacles in your path as opportunities to make a true impact and leave a legacy full of success for those coming behind you.

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Article originally published in “The Connection - A Magazine by Connect Global”